Category: Joke Board
so there is 3 girls stuck on a desert island. they are 30 miles from shore. the red head swimms 5 miles, gets tired and dies. the bernet swimms 15 miles, gets tired, and dies. the blonde swimms 29 miles, gets tired, and turns back.
Three girls get in trouble with the law. they go to hide in a barn. the red head hides in a dog house. the bernet hides in a manger and the blonde hides in a bag of potatoes. the copps come in the barn and are looking around and all. they come to the doghouse and the red head says woof woof. they come to the manger and the bernet says meow meow. they come to the sack of potatoes and the blonde says potatoes potatoes.
A newlywed blond decides she's going to play housewife and make her husband a home-cooked dinner. He goes out to spend a little time with his buddies, leaving her time to prepare the meal. She puts a chicken in the oven and turns it to the proper heat before calling a friend on the phone and gabbing away. After a few minutes, the blond doesn't smell anything cooking, so she cranks the heat up all the way. As she continues to gab on the phone with her friend, she notices what she thinks is steam rising up from the oven, but starts coughing. Getting a moment of intelligence, she tells her friend she needs to call the fire department because there's black smoke coming out of her oven. She calls the fire department and says, "You gotta help me! My house is on fire!" The fire chief asks her, "Where are you?" She says, "I'm in the kitchen and stuff is burning in my oven and starting the kitchen on fire." He corrects her, saying, "No, we need to know how to get to your house." She answers, "Duh! Just drive the big red trucks!"
A blond is driving to Disney World and when she is almost there, she sees a sign that says, "Disney World left". There is an arrow pointing to the left, and the blond turns around and goes back home.
What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress' name tag?
"'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?"
A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first
class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant
checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.
The blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned
seat is in coach.
Again, the blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde
girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.
She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant,
who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.
He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."
Finally, A smart blond ??
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan Officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a 5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire..
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow 5,000?"
The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
A blond and her brunette friend are staying at a hotel for one night. They both agree to go swimming after dinner. The brunette waits for her friend by the pool for ten minutes, and when the blond doesn't show up, decides to call the room. The blond says, "I can't get out," when the brunette asks her what happened. "What do you mean you can't get out," asks the brunette. The blond says," There are three doors. One's for the bathroom, the other one's for the closet, and the third one says Do Not Disturb."